Why not put watches on models?

In the past few years, the Swiss Watch Industry has gone the way of fashion and has, in my humble opinion, abandoned the watch collectors, the watch geeks, and us – the epicureans.

Here is a little satirical portrait of the Swiss Watch Industry and the media in general. This is not scientific.

The Swiss watch industry would love to be in the (celebrity) news as much as possible, and who wouldn’t?

But for the last hundred-plus years, the watch industry has depended on newspapers, the trusty watch magazines, and occasional celebrity sightings to promote their products.

Watches are small and can cost as much as the best automobiles. You would think that is news.

So how do you show watches on television and make them interesting enough to capture someone’s attention?

Sex sells. Why not put watches on models? Because people see the models, not the watches. Why not do an educational show about watches? Well, that would be good for Public Television, but not for prime time.

In today’s world, getting invited onto a celebrity news channel or one of the morning shows is, PR wise – impossible – except for a psychiatrist touting the newest drugs for your kids or some quack who peddles opinions about your love life.

What you have to do is look at the advertisers on these shows to see how someone gets an interview. The drug companies advertise heavily and hire mostly psychiatrists to create stupid names for “side-effect creating” chemical drugs and the spokesperson has to sound and look good on television. After all, you have to get some benefits if you spend millions in advertising.

The drug companies produce the drugs, then walk them through the FDA and hopefully have to remove the drug from the shelves because it causes more harm than good. What a magical PR move for them!

They not only get the psych spokesperson to spew all the remarkable “benefits” to the listeners, but they also create the scandal when the drug goes bad. THAT’S brilliant.
Well OK, but what about the watch companies and why can’t they get on the news, you ask?

If you had a watch company hook up with a drug company, you could produce the first watch with a patch on the back that every hour would ring a little bell reminding you to press the crown on the watch, causing a small needle to inject the latest concoction into your veins. Now that’s news. Then, you could showcase patients who used the watch to save their lives. Later, a few victims could surface for some blood-and-guts lawsuits with lawyers, court TV, and more scandal. Oh my!

Alas, there just isn’t enough scandal in the watch industry to entice the media to report on watches.

I guess if there were a psychochemical-based labeling therapy session for watch geeks, then the world would be alright. All watch collectors could be labeled as “Compulsive Complaining Time Freaks” and we would all get our 15 minutes of fame on the “Good Scandal America Morning Show.”

So, the watch companies continue to advertise in the bubble gum magazines and hope to gradually crossover into the Fashion world. So hum drum.

But what about the watches? And who is going to talk about mechanical watches and what makes them tick?

That’s why we’re here. Happy New Year.